Sensitive Men Make Better Lovers

I am writing a new book about the highly sensitive male and have received some interesting results from my survey of HSM (highly sensitive men). Contrary to the media stereotype that women crave macho men who are tough, silent and unemotional, sensitive men have an extraordinary appeal to women. Sensitive men are not only more tuned into their own needs but to the needs of their partners.

One HSM said, “As for relating to women and sexuality, I think that it only enhances my ability to empathize with people who are totally different. The HSM is really at an advantage because women and men are so different from the start. By being sensitive I have a running start to try and appreciate where my spouse is coming from. As for sexuality, this is also about being sensitive to the needs and the pleasure of someone not yourself and being sensitive is a benefit in this regard. When I can appreciate the pleasure of someone else it enhances my own pleasure.”

Another HSM stated, “Since I didn’t fit the cultural stereotype of masculinity I risked being viewed as effeminate. However, as an HSM I am probably more sensitive to my sexual partner’s needs throughout life than most men. So perhaps sensitive men make better lovers.”

As the societal view of “masculinity” is slowly beginning to change, hopefully it will allow both men and women to appreciate empathy, vulnerability and sensitivity in men. The stereotypical media heroes like John Wayne, Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger have only reinforced false beliefs in what it means to be a man. As a matter of fact, the only hope for personal and global peace is for the resurrection of such masculine heroes as Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King and Gregory Peck. Since it takes a strong man to express his emotions and show vulnerability, real men are sensitive.

Ted Zeff, Ph.D